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Young Siblings
Christiana's story: At age 7, Christiana had already learned much about
taking care of her four-year-old brother who had physical and cognitive
disabilities. She had learned that he wasn't learning the skills to become
independent like the sisters and brothers of her friends. One day as she was
playing soccer with her brother and mom (she helped him balance in his walker
and move his leg to kick the ball), she lifted her head and asked her mom, "When
you and Daddy die, will I be taking care of Phillip?"
| Most likely she will. It is estimated that over 60 percent of today's children
who have a brother or sister with a disability expect to care for their sibling
as adults, many caring for them in their own home at the expense of their own
family and career goals. Advances in medical care have dramatically increased
the life expectancies of people with disabilities so that most of these
individuals will outlive their parents.
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For example, only half the children with
Down syndrome born in 1968 survived past their first birthday. By 1997, the
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported the median age of death had
risen to 49 years. Together with state and federal support decreasing and
waiting lists for services increasing, adult siblings will likely assume at
least the financial, emotional and social responsibilities of their brother or
sister, if not also their physical care and housing.
Acknowledging siblings' many unique opportunities is not to view their
experience from Pollyanna's perspective--many of these benefits are hard-earned.
One method of addressing these concerns is to utilize models specifically
designed for brothers and sisters of children with special needs. One model,
Sibshops, was developed
at the University of Washington's Child Development and Mental Retardation
Center by Don Meyer, M.Ed., director of the
Sibling Support Project.
The Sibling Support Project,
located at headquarters of the Arc
of the United States, provides training and technical assistance to
agencies wishing to create peer support and education programs for brothers and
sisters throughout the U.S. In addition to providing awareness training and
developing awareness and curricular materials, the Sibling Support Project
provides specific training on the Sibshop model.
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Sibshop Activity - "Letters from Brothers and Sisters" (ages 6-10) What if you
took a vacation for a whole year away from your sibling(s) with a disability.
What would you write in a letter to them?
Dear J-
I miss you. Whatsup. Whatsup. Whatsup. Hi.
I am goin' to swimming 1 year. Bye.
Z
Hi A-
I love you. Hi! I miss you.
I love you.
Dear brother
How are you doing? I'm having a wonderful time and I really, really miss you. I
really love you so much.
Love,
MK
Hey A-
I am in New York city. I am not have ing fun with out you. I miss you a lot. I
will write agan soon. I hope you are having fun. I will bring you back a
present. I will see you soon.
C
Dear A -
I am going to be gone for one year. Hope you feel well. Please take care of Mom
and Grampa.
Dear S -
I am having a fun trip right now. I am hangin' out with Andrew the 3rd. I miss
you and hope you are having a good time now. Enclosed is a CD of your favorite
singer. I'll notify you every week.
Your brother
A
Dear A
I wandid wat you did wile I was gone. I played balleball. I made a 3D mechinal
peramid. I played a game and played archery.
From:
A
Dear I
I will get you a present for nothing on the way to California and I miss you but
not your screaming and when you play games play games play games play games. It
is enough to drive a person crazy and rip out my hair and I will miss everybody
else and you, [child's name], do not erase any of my game files or I will not
play games!
Love,
N
Written by children attending Sibshop on the Farm, September 27, 2003 ---
Larsen, WI
.JPG)
Young sibs have a great time at SibDays of Summer 2007
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