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Young Siblings

Christiana's story: At age 7, Christiana had already learned much about taking care of her four-year-old brother who had physical and cognitive disabilities. She had learned that he wasn't learning the skills to become independent like the sisters and brothers of her friends. One day as she was playing soccer with her brother and mom (she helped him balance in his walker and move his leg to kick the ball), she lifted her head and asked her mom, "When you and Daddy die, will I be taking care of Phillip?"

Most likely she will. It is estimated that over 60 percent of today's children who have a brother or sister with a disability expect to care for their sibling as adults, many caring for them in their own home at the expense of their own family and career goals. Advances in medical care have dramatically increased the life expectancies of people with disabilities so that most of these individuals will outlive their parents.

 

 

 For example, only half the children with Down syndrome born in 1968 survived past their first birthday. By 1997, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported the median age of death had risen to 49 years. Together with state and federal support decreasing and waiting lists for services increasing, adult siblings will likely assume at least the financial, emotional and social responsibilities of their brother or sister, if not also their physical care and housing.


Acknowledging siblings' many unique opportunities is not to view their experience from Pollyanna's perspective--many of these benefits are hard-earned.

One method of addressing these concerns is to utilize models specifically designed for brothers and sisters of children with special needs. One model, Sibshops, was developed at the University of Washington's Child Development and Mental Retardation Center by Don Meyer, M.Ed., director of the Sibling Support Project.

The Sibling Support Project, located at headquarters of the Arc of the United States, provides training and technical assistance to agencies wishing to create peer support and education programs for brothers and sisters throughout the U.S. In addition to providing awareness training and developing awareness and curricular materials, the Sibling Support Project provides specific training on the Sibshop model.
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Sibshop Activity - "Letters from Brothers and Sisters" (ages 6-10) What if you took a vacation for a whole year away from your sibling(s) with a disability. What would you write in a letter to them?

Dear J-
I miss you. Whatsup. Whatsup. Whatsup. Hi.
I am goin' to swimming 1 year. Bye.
Z

Hi A-
I love you. Hi! I miss you.
I love you.


Dear brother
How are you doing? I'm having a wonderful time and I really, really miss you. I really love you so much.
Love,
MK

Hey A-
I am in New York city. I am not have ing fun with out you. I miss you a lot. I will write agan soon. I hope you are having fun. I will bring you back a present. I will see you soon.
C

Dear A -
I am going to be gone for one year. Hope you feel well. Please take care of Mom and Grampa.


Dear S -
I am having a fun trip right now. I am hangin' out with Andrew the 3rd. I miss you and hope you are having a good time now. Enclosed is a CD of your favorite singer. I'll notify you every week.
Your brother
A

Dear A
I wandid wat you did wile I was gone. I played balleball. I made a 3D mechinal peramid. I played a game and played archery.
From:
A

Dear I
I will get you a present for nothing on the way to California and I miss you but not your screaming and when you play games play games play games play games. It is enough to drive a person crazy and rip out my hair and I will miss everybody else and you, [child's name], do not erase any of my game files or I will not play games!
Love,
N

Written by children attending Sibshop on the Farm, September 27, 2003 --- Larsen, WI
  Young sibs have a great time at SibDays of Summer 2007


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Fox Valley Sibling Support Network
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