About Siblings

Concerns of brothers and sisters of children with special health needs are well-known to their parents and have been documented in the research and clinical literature. Among the concerns mentioned by authors, parents, and siblings themselves include:

" a life-long and ever-changing need for information about the disability or illness feelings of isolation when siblings are excluded from information available to other family members, ignored by service providers, or denied access to peers who share their often ambivalent feelings about their siblings";

" feelings of guilt about having caused the illness or disability, or being spared having the condition",

" feelings of resentment when the child with special needs becomes the focus of the family's attention or is permitted to engage in behavior not allowed other family members";

" a perceived pressure to achieve in academics, sports, or behavior";
" increased caregiving demands, especially for older sisters"; and

" concerns about their and their sibling's future.

Increasingly, opportunities experienced by these brothers and sisters are also being acknowledged. A short list of opportunities observed by parents and brothers and sisters could include:

" the insights a sibling will have on the human condition as a result of growing up with a brother or sister with special needs:

" the maturity many brothers or sisters develop as a result of successfully coping with a sibling's special needs:

" the pride brothers and sisters report in their sibling's abilities:

" the loyalty brothers and sisters display toward their siblings and families:

" and the appreciation many brothers and sisters have for their good health and own families.

Articles about sibling issues:

What Siblings Wish Parents and Professionals Knew by Don Meyer, Director of the Arc of the United States Sibling Support Project

(c) copyright 2005
Fox Valley Sibling Support Network
All rights reserved